IF MEN WROTE THE RULES
- Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
- If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
- If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
- It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.
- Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?
- Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
- You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
- Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
- Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.
- Women who wear Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
- When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.
- Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived